Do You Line Up on a City Block?

This is a blog entry for all those Commuter Bus people. I walked through the city today, because it is so nice out - did it really reach 71 degrees today? Are we still challenging Gore's concerns? I digress.

I was walking down L street and noticed a line of people, all the way down the block. I followed the line, curious as to what was at the other end. Strangely enough, it led to a gentlemen reading a book while standing on a street grate. I thought to myself, this is odd. Then, I looked to see all the people in line peering down the road hoping to see something come around the corner or past the next intersection. I realized that these are what we call the commuter bus people. I guess their bus was late, way late. They were pissed. Humming and hawing and throwing their arms up in the air. I had to laugh.

Do you commuter bus people ever feel silly standing in the middle of the city waiting for your bus to come? I hope not, because you are doing a good thing by taking this transportation option. Please don't take my laughter as criticism. I applaud you for your dedication to efficiency and to the environment. And if you want, you can just pass my laughter on to those people who you see sitting in their cars on the beltway when you are passing them in the HOV lanes.

In all honesty, I hope that this commute option gets you home faster than most, or that you are able to get a ton of work done on the bus. I hear you can't talk on them though and no cell phones. Man, I wish we had this option on the city buses. Just the other day there was a gentleman who had an entire conversation on his cell phone...which was on speaker! We all shot him horrible looks, but he just did not get it. Same goes for those push-to-talk losers. Beep! Beep Beep! I have two words for you - BEEP THIS!

Well, it is getting cold and I stopped at a Starbucks to write this entry. Time to go out and wait for my bus. I hope when you all drive by - once you get on your bus - that you don't laugh at me standing there waiting and peering for that big red, white and blue beast that is the city bus. Safe travels!

What Do You Think of the Usual DC Delays?

As I mention many times in my blog, I am a public transportation junkie. I would sooner take two buses and transfer twice on the metro than drive to and from work. Sure, it takes more time, but I would rather spend my time relaxing on public transportation than sitting in traffic stressing and riding the brakes.

Yesterday was a first for me. I drove to work. I had a series of errands I had to run that required my vehicle. The usual - dry cleaning, picking up gifts, and of course getting the car fixed. I thought I was being so efficient by arranging it so I could do it all right near work - Crystal City. Being a district resident, I know all too well that I cannot find oil changing places or even cheap dry cleaners in the city, so it seemed smart to outsource to the suburbs of Virginia.

Well, what I saved in money, I paid for in frustration. After running all my errands, I quickly dashed out on to Jefferson Davis Highway, prepared to zip up to Memorial Bridge, over the Potomac and through the city to hit Rock Creek Pkwy. It was a beautiful day for a drive and I was feeling lucky. Just as I rounded that first bend after the on ramp (you know the one right past where you have one last option to get on 395 north into the city), I came to a screeching halt. I mean HALT, like the German command for STOP NOW! I thought for a second...could this be right? Was there really this much traffic daily on 110?

About 10 mins passed and I noticed something strange. The opposite side of of 110 was completely empty. I mean no traffic. None. It looked like the day I ran the Army 10 miler. No cars on the road whatsoever. I said out loud, as if someone was listening..."This is not good." It had to be an accident, I thought. A really bad accident. I turned my car off. No point wasting gas, not in today's economy anyway.

I started thinking about how someone could get into an accident so bad that would close both sides of 110. I expected to hear sirens, see firetrucks, about 10 ambulances. Sadly, that would have made me feel better - knowing what caused the parking lot that I was now experiencing. I looked to my right to see the other cars - the drivers didn't look phased one bit. I started to panic. Could this be the daily commute and I was just the rookie in the crowd here? When others starting turning off their cars too, I felt better. A few people got out of their cars to see over the horizon. No luck. It was gridlocked.

I looked to my left. I was in the shadow of the world's largest office building. The five sided symbol of world domination. Funny, I am not sure I have ever looked at the Pentagon that long. In fact, I have never even been near it for more than a few seconds, zipping by on a bus or in a car. I had seen it from the air of course, taking off from National Airport on one of my many trips. I watched as the droves of people streamed out of the building getting ready to head home. No point in rushing I thought, we are not going anywhere.

About 15-20 mins passed and I was speechless. I had exhausted all profanity and it seemed silly yelling it to myself in my car. Like a four letter word was going to move the car in front of me? Nope. Just then, I noticed on the left hand side of 110, a parade of lights and sirens came flying down the road. I read the sides of the squad cars as they zoomed by...Arlington Police...Pentagon Police. That's it?! No, firetrucks, no ambulance...that is when I knew.

Sure enough, then came the universally recognized black Suburbans, Lincoln Towncars and Chevy Tahoes. I was relieved to know what it was, but that lasted about two second before I threw my hands up and said, "damned dignitaries!" The one day I chose to drive to work I got stuck in a freeze while they moved dignitaries from the Pentagon to wherever they were going. I proceeded to inch all the way to the bridge. Once I made it back into the district I was happy to be battling the usual traffic caused by lights and bad drivers. No black suburbans in sight.

I know it comes with the territory, being in the capital city and all. What ever happened to helicopters? Oh, you didn't feel like using it today? Well, by all means, on those days, do me a favor. Give me a call, I will trade you my car for your helicopter and you can enjoy the view of the gridlock from my level. Deal?

When Did Red Become the New Orange?!

I live on the Red Line. I have also ridden the Orange Line. I used to hear the horror stories of those condo-owning "geryuppies" (new term I heard for a younger yuppy) who would pack into the metro like sardines every morning to get into the city for work. Then, like clockwork, they would do it all over again at 5PM to return to their highrise, overpriced real estate in Northern Virginia.

At work you would hear people say, "Man, the Orange Line was bad today. I had to wait for three trains before I could smash into a spot." The worst story I ever heard was last summer, when it was one of those really hot mornings and someone said that a girl got sick from her fear of enclosed spaces. Can you imagine being stuck on a metro, packed in like sardines and having someone lose their breakfast in the midst of it? Not appetizing in the least!

I always thought that the Orange Line was indicative of Northern Virginia's poor planning. The fact that half the state of Virginia drives to Vienna or West Falls Church metro station and parks there to catch the metro means that the cars are filled by the time they get three stops down the line. So, all the Starbucks-sipping, condo-owning geryuppies in Clarendon or Ballston (I will save a separate blog entry for that metro stop town) are left stranded on the platform watching as train after train of bureaucrats flies by them.

This means they are late to work, in a bad mood when they get to work and do nothing but complain all day about the Orange Line. Oh, but they love their high-priced condo living and so that makes it all bearable, somehow. I guess that is why at 5PM they leave their desk and do the exact same ritual, only in reverse. I ask you, is it really worth it? But, then again, what is their other option? Sit on 66 watch the world go by while you sit in traffic? I hope you have a good audiobook on CD, because the morning radio in this town sucks too (Sorry, but I am used to real talk radio - spoiled by Los Angeles I guess)! Or I guess you can SLUG. I am still creeped out by that whole thing - the rules, the rituals, the HOV lanes - it just isn't for me.

Back to what I was saying about RED being the new ORANGE. I guess that Shady Grove is the Vienna of Maryland. With every passing day, it seems that my old-reliable Red Line gets more and more crowded. I understand the occasional surge between stations like Gallery Place and Metro Center, which are true transfer points. I even make an exception for Farragut North, voted the busiest metro station in all of Washington. But, when I get on the red line and head into NW DC I don't expect to have to endure the crowds of commuters that I have been seeing as of late.

I know it is the Maryland commuters who are causing my Red line to be the new Orange line. Marylanders, I have nothing against you. When I see you driving around the Capital City, I don't mind, because your tags remind me that you want to save the bay and all that stuff. But I have to ask, why the sudden change in how you get to work? Is it the gas prices? Are you tired of driving the Clara Barton or the GW Parkway? I must say I am puzzled, because I don't hear nearly as much grumbling about Maryland traffic and commuting problems from the water cooler crowds.

Help me understand why when I leave work later, around 7 or 730, I board the metro and have to stand and stake out my 1X1 piece of real estate by the door. I say to myself, "you can't all be working this late." Then, I hope that the crowds subside as we get to Metro Center - nope, just more people piling on. Then I think, okay, they will get off at Dupont - for dinner and stuff. Nope. No one gets on, but no one gets off either. Then, Woodley, Cleveland, Van Ness, Tenley...nothing. How can this be that there are still this many people on this metro when I get off at the "last stop in the District of Columbia?" I push my way out and sigh out of frustration.

As I exit the metro train I watch as it pulls out of the station. I watch as car after car passes, each one filled with people holding the hand rails trying to read their papers. I say to myself, at least I don't have to endure the Shady Grove parking lot each night. Instead, I happily walk home, shaking off the commuter coodies and trying to breath the fresh air, clearing my memory of that bad breath that stood next to me for 6 stops. I am home within minutes of stepping off that escalator. I remind myself that I hate crowds of commuters. I also stop to be thankful that I can be home with my family long before everyone else in that train gets in their cars to return home after a long painful train ride from the Capital City to the burbs. Oh, the joys of living in Washington. Here is to hoping the gas prices go down and my Red Line goes back to being a pleasant journey under NW DC where I can sit and read my paper on the way to work.