Saturday, July 21, 2007

FORK DC?

I don't like when people vandalize my city. You can make fun of it all you want, but I don't stand for graffiti and defacing of property and monuments...okay, so this was a sewer plate, but still.

Walking home today from a wonderful day, when I actually wasn't driven mad by one of this city's quarks, I looked down and saw this. Someone must have had an art pen or a very small can of spray paint to write it. Nice penmanship, but no dice.

If I could have altered it right there on the spot, I would have, but I am pretty sure if I was caught messing with a sewer plate near a government building the Secret Service would come ask to see my ID. There we go again with the IDs.

So, I am left to take a picture and alter the picture. There now it says FORK DC - this will begin the new restaurant critic portion of my blog. Who knows maybe someone will do a spin off blog on the city's cuisine. I only ask you credit the idea - which was hatched here.

Saturday Mornings in a Capital City

Have you ever gotten up really early on a Saturday and just walked around parts of Downtown DC? Before you shrug at the idea of getting up early on a weekend, hear me out. Washington is a city that has moods and waves and patterns. Washington rush hour is a wave of activity in the morning and afternoon. Washington traffic is a pattern, well sort of anyway...if you can call chaos a pattern, that is. As far as moods, early Saturday mornings capture what I call Washington in a good mood.

It is when you get the best of all things Washington. Today for example, is that perfect April or September weather, only it is July. The city is buzzing with the perfect mix of tourists and locals. All us businessmen and businesswomen are home reading the weekend edition of the Post, or the NYTimes for all you wannabe "real city" folks. Okay, so maybe I am not at home reading the Post, but I am at a downtown cafe, enjoying my coffee and bagel watching the world walk by my window.

I love the looks on the faces of the tourist families as they begin their long days walk around the city. They are so eager and so happy to be here. The tourist kids on the metro remind me why this is a great city. You know the kids that swing innocently on the handrails and get all excited at the idea of going to a spy museum or going to the top of the Washington Monument.

So, I just want to give a shout out to all those early risers, whether you are a tourist or a resident, eager to discover Washington at its best. Thanks for making my weekend mornings enjoyable.

Oh, and if you end up liking Saturday mornings in Washington, you should try Sunday mornings. I swear the city is so quiet that you can walk right down the middle of Wisconsin Avenue at 6 am as if it was a sidewalk. That reminds me of the time I went skiing down the middle of Wisconsin Avenue to go to the grocery store. I will save that entry for the winter months, when Washington is bound to have a blizzard crisis with all the bread and milk shortages.

Friday, July 20, 2007

How Many IDs Do You Have?

Does anyone else in this town notice the abundance of IDs and badges and key fobs we have hanging from our necks? Did I miss the memo that said, "He/She who dies with the most IDs wins!" How our daily routines have changes to include mornings where you talk to yourself and it goes something like this, "Keys...check, wallet....check, SmarTrip card...check....Crap, I forgot my ID...I have to go all the way home and get it. Man, now I am going to miss my train."
I am not sure when it started, probably sometime after 9/11, but ever since the words Homeland and Security were merged to become a household term, it seems we must define our existence in the form of badges and IDs. Seriously, do I really need another piece of plastic with a mug shot photo of myself to enter my apartment building, workplace, or even my local gym?

There are certain days I feel like playing ID UNO with my friends. "My Senate badge trumps your FAA badge, so draw four and buy my next Starbucks venti coffee. Deal?" You know who I feel bad for? The Security Guards who have to fan through all my badges to find the one that gets me into their lobby. Each day they ask me to put the appropriate one at the front of the pack, but I never do. Probably because my hands are full with Starbucks and the WashingtonPost. I can't be bothered to play the keychain game with all my IDs, so I just leave it and let them scoff at my three of a kind government contractor badges and laugh at my faded employer badge. They laugh, but I know they envy me and my permission-based power. Plus, without all this badging and security, I don't think they would have that job, so they should be thankful, I guess.

One person who loves my IDs unconditionally is nephew. He loves when I walk in the door and gives him a hug, so he can dive right for the assortment of badges. I figure they are pretty indestructible, so I let him play with them for a few hours. Of course, the next morning is like a re-enactment of the Da Vinci code, following the signs and clues to the treasure that is my life in the form of a few plastic cards and badges. Every time I tell him, "you can play with these, but just don't lose them, because without these your Uncle doesn't work and that means no toys." He laughs at me and releases them.

Do you ever think about what St. Peter would say if you showed up at the Gates with all those badges? I am pretty sure they wouldn't work where you ultimately want to go.