Do You Mind Waiting While We Fix Our Camera?

D.C. is not known for its customer service. Institutions like the Department of Motor Vehicles do not help the negative reputation this city maintains. I now remember why, when I renew any sort of license, registration or other bureaucratic documentation for this city, I elect to pay the max and renew for the longest time period possible. It is because after enduring the battle of all things bureaucracy, I never want to step foot in one of D.C.'s government offices again.

Who remembers the first time they had to take their vehicle down to get it inspected? Remember how you felt when you crossed out of NW DC and found yourself on that Anacostia freeway only to wait in a line that wrapped around the block, a block that was not in the best part of town. Boy did you stick out in your Honda Accord with that sticker on your bumper that screams I am a yuppy and I am proud of my yuppee-in-the-making son who will hopefully go to Georgetown and then work as an intern on the hill and then run for Congress somewhere and go down in history as a corrupt politician!

Well, my most recent battle with he-who-should-not-be-named, i.e. THE DC DMV, began one early morning, mid-week. After losing sleep all night about whether I would get there in time, I got up around six in the morning to prepare my documents and rehearse my answers for the big bad BUREAUCRATUM! I got to the Georgetown DMV location exactly 45 mins before the office opened. I was shocked to see fellow DC residents already waiting, no, camped out! This reminded me of undergraduate days, when we would all try and beat each other the the registrar's office to be first in line to sign up for Organic Chemistry or Diff EQ. If you were in the first 50 people, you would be good. Not true here. If you made the top 10, I think you could guarantee getting your license or registration in time to get to work. After all, this was a weekday and yes, I had planned to lose productivity for this - my license to drive in the nation's capital.

So, after being yelled at by the contracted security guard - can't blame him, he is just doing his job and exhibiting his LITTLE POWER, we were allowed in to take a ticket. My ticket, as you can see said my wait time was 4 minutes! Sweet! I would so get to work on time. Of course I spoke to soon and some bureaucrat must have seen the elation on my face, because just as I took my seat, an announcement was made.

Ladies and Gentlemen, if you are here to get a license or id or renew a license or id, you are going to have to wait. Our camera is currently broken and we don't know how long it will be down. We have called the repairman to come take a look at it, but he will not be here for a while. You are welcome to wait, but I don't know how long it will be. We will let you know.

Well, you would have thought I was in a scene of the Breakfast Club. Businessmen and women, moms and dads, college students all turned into angry scowling customers and threw pens and clipboards and gasped and sighed. I swear I even heard a few f bombs. I am sure it was not within earshot of the security guard, because I think he was itching to throw someone out, and he would have had a great start to the day if he could make an example out of one of us pissed off customers.

Well, I guess you know where I am going with this. My four minutes vanished and someone got turned into two and a half hours of waiting. Thank goodness I had a good book and my iPod to distract me for a while. Of course the longer we waited the more angry the mob got and I did get to see one man thrown out. There were several coffee violators who tried to sneak something other than water into the DMV. NO GO! So, another two hours of my life gone and all I have to show for it is this little ticket stub that says they took 4 minutes of my time.

Unfortunately, this ticket stub didn't really fly for a note explaining my tardiness to my boss. He just shook his head and said, "better time management." I quit right there and then.

Okay, so I didn't really quit, but I wanted to call the rest of the day a loss. Now I am good until 2012 or at least until I move.