What Do You Think of the Usual DC Delays?

As I mention many times in my blog, I am a public transportation junkie. I would sooner take two buses and transfer twice on the metro than drive to and from work. Sure, it takes more time, but I would rather spend my time relaxing on public transportation than sitting in traffic stressing and riding the brakes.

Yesterday was a first for me. I drove to work. I had a series of errands I had to run that required my vehicle. The usual - dry cleaning, picking up gifts, and of course getting the car fixed. I thought I was being so efficient by arranging it so I could do it all right near work - Crystal City. Being a district resident, I know all too well that I cannot find oil changing places or even cheap dry cleaners in the city, so it seemed smart to outsource to the suburbs of Virginia.

Well, what I saved in money, I paid for in frustration. After running all my errands, I quickly dashed out on to Jefferson Davis Highway, prepared to zip up to Memorial Bridge, over the Potomac and through the city to hit Rock Creek Pkwy. It was a beautiful day for a drive and I was feeling lucky. Just as I rounded that first bend after the on ramp (you know the one right past where you have one last option to get on 395 north into the city), I came to a screeching halt. I mean HALT, like the German command for STOP NOW! I thought for a second...could this be right? Was there really this much traffic daily on 110?

About 10 mins passed and I noticed something strange. The opposite side of of 110 was completely empty. I mean no traffic. None. It looked like the day I ran the Army 10 miler. No cars on the road whatsoever. I said out loud, as if someone was listening..."This is not good." It had to be an accident, I thought. A really bad accident. I turned my car off. No point wasting gas, not in today's economy anyway.

I started thinking about how someone could get into an accident so bad that would close both sides of 110. I expected to hear sirens, see firetrucks, about 10 ambulances. Sadly, that would have made me feel better - knowing what caused the parking lot that I was now experiencing. I looked to my right to see the other cars - the drivers didn't look phased one bit. I started to panic. Could this be the daily commute and I was just the rookie in the crowd here? When others starting turning off their cars too, I felt better. A few people got out of their cars to see over the horizon. No luck. It was gridlocked.

I looked to my left. I was in the shadow of the world's largest office building. The five sided symbol of world domination. Funny, I am not sure I have ever looked at the Pentagon that long. In fact, I have never even been near it for more than a few seconds, zipping by on a bus or in a car. I had seen it from the air of course, taking off from National Airport on one of my many trips. I watched as the droves of people streamed out of the building getting ready to head home. No point in rushing I thought, we are not going anywhere.

About 15-20 mins passed and I was speechless. I had exhausted all profanity and it seemed silly yelling it to myself in my car. Like a four letter word was going to move the car in front of me? Nope. Just then, I noticed on the left hand side of 110, a parade of lights and sirens came flying down the road. I read the sides of the squad cars as they zoomed by...Arlington Police...Pentagon Police. That's it?! No, firetrucks, no ambulance...that is when I knew.

Sure enough, then came the universally recognized black Suburbans, Lincoln Towncars and Chevy Tahoes. I was relieved to know what it was, but that lasted about two second before I threw my hands up and said, "damned dignitaries!" The one day I chose to drive to work I got stuck in a freeze while they moved dignitaries from the Pentagon to wherever they were going. I proceeded to inch all the way to the bridge. Once I made it back into the district I was happy to be battling the usual traffic caused by lights and bad drivers. No black suburbans in sight.

I know it comes with the territory, being in the capital city and all. What ever happened to helicopters? Oh, you didn't feel like using it today? Well, by all means, on those days, do me a favor. Give me a call, I will trade you my car for your helicopter and you can enjoy the view of the gridlock from my level. Deal?