What Do You Think of the Usual DC Delays?

As I mention many times in my blog, I am a public transportation junkie. I would sooner take two buses and transfer twice on the metro than drive to and from work. Sure, it takes more time, but I would rather spend my time relaxing on public transportation than sitting in traffic stressing and riding the brakes.

Yesterday was a first for me. I drove to work. I had a series of errands I had to run that required my vehicle. The usual - dry cleaning, picking up gifts, and of course getting the car fixed. I thought I was being so efficient by arranging it so I could do it all right near work - Crystal City. Being a district resident, I know all too well that I cannot find oil changing places or even cheap dry cleaners in the city, so it seemed smart to outsource to the suburbs of Virginia.

Well, what I saved in money, I paid for in frustration. After running all my errands, I quickly dashed out on to Jefferson Davis Highway, prepared to zip up to Memorial Bridge, over the Potomac and through the city to hit Rock Creek Pkwy. It was a beautiful day for a drive and I was feeling lucky. Just as I rounded that first bend after the on ramp (you know the one right past where you have one last option to get on 395 north into the city), I came to a screeching halt. I mean HALT, like the German command for STOP NOW! I thought for a second...could this be right? Was there really this much traffic daily on 110?

About 10 mins passed and I noticed something strange. The opposite side of of 110 was completely empty. I mean no traffic. None. It looked like the day I ran the Army 10 miler. No cars on the road whatsoever. I said out loud, as if someone was listening..."This is not good." It had to be an accident, I thought. A really bad accident. I turned my car off. No point wasting gas, not in today's economy anyway.

I started thinking about how someone could get into an accident so bad that would close both sides of 110. I expected to hear sirens, see firetrucks, about 10 ambulances. Sadly, that would have made me feel better - knowing what caused the parking lot that I was now experiencing. I looked to my right to see the other cars - the drivers didn't look phased one bit. I started to panic. Could this be the daily commute and I was just the rookie in the crowd here? When others starting turning off their cars too, I felt better. A few people got out of their cars to see over the horizon. No luck. It was gridlocked.

I looked to my left. I was in the shadow of the world's largest office building. The five sided symbol of world domination. Funny, I am not sure I have ever looked at the Pentagon that long. In fact, I have never even been near it for more than a few seconds, zipping by on a bus or in a car. I had seen it from the air of course, taking off from National Airport on one of my many trips. I watched as the droves of people streamed out of the building getting ready to head home. No point in rushing I thought, we are not going anywhere.

About 15-20 mins passed and I was speechless. I had exhausted all profanity and it seemed silly yelling it to myself in my car. Like a four letter word was going to move the car in front of me? Nope. Just then, I noticed on the left hand side of 110, a parade of lights and sirens came flying down the road. I read the sides of the squad cars as they zoomed by...Arlington Police...Pentagon Police. That's it?! No, firetrucks, no ambulance...that is when I knew.

Sure enough, then came the universally recognized black Suburbans, Lincoln Towncars and Chevy Tahoes. I was relieved to know what it was, but that lasted about two second before I threw my hands up and said, "damned dignitaries!" The one day I chose to drive to work I got stuck in a freeze while they moved dignitaries from the Pentagon to wherever they were going. I proceeded to inch all the way to the bridge. Once I made it back into the district I was happy to be battling the usual traffic caused by lights and bad drivers. No black suburbans in sight.

I know it comes with the territory, being in the capital city and all. What ever happened to helicopters? Oh, you didn't feel like using it today? Well, by all means, on those days, do me a favor. Give me a call, I will trade you my car for your helicopter and you can enjoy the view of the gridlock from my level. Deal?

Invader Joes

I am not usually responsible for grocery shopping in my household. I occasionally visit one of the three "S"afeway stores in the area. Yes, I am referring to the Secret Safeway, the Soviet Safeway and the Social Safeway, all in NW DC. It is usually a rather brief encounter. I go in, grab a coke or water or candy and I am out of there.

Last Christmas I received a Trader Joes gift card from a friend of mine. I have heard a great deal about this place, Trader Joes. I see the bags around town and the occasional freezer meal they make when one of my co workers have them for lunch.

So, a few months ago, I decided to venture out and try out the crunchy granola grocery store known as Trader Joes. I heard they opened one up new George Washington University. So, I ventured down on the bus and walked into this latest Trader Joes. What I encountered blew my mind.

I thought I had stepped into a scene from Jumanji or Night at the Museum. It was like there had been a riot for all things organic. I couldn't even walk through the store without bumping in to someone fighting over wasabi peas or tofurkey. The aisles were jammed. I walked through trying to get a glimpse of what everyone was so perplexed with in this place. I didn't even understand the languages being spoken. It was a mix of yuppy and grundgy with a spice of organica!

Eventually, my crowd barometer spiked and I found myself peeling myself out of the crowd and running for the exit. As I escaped the clutches of these grape nut patrons, I took a breath of D.C. downtown air. I looked back and stared with confusion. I asked myself - "What is the attraction?"

Trader Joes? More like Invader Joes! I haven't been back yet. I may give it a few months before I try again. I wonder how long the gift card will last.

Bums in Bethesda?

I am sorry, did I miss the memo? Was there some sort of announcement put out that all bums from NW DC should jump on the metro and ride a few stops until they reach the "first stop in the State of Maryland?" The other day, while running errands in Bethesda, I thought I would stop in the Barnes & Noble on Woodmont Avenue. I was surprised to see about seven bums along Woodmont Ave. picking through the garbage cans and sitting on the outdoor tables.

I find it hard to believe that that Soccer Moms of Bethesda and the latte sipping ladies of the area would let this situation develop. Doesn't this fly in the face of the image of Woodmont Avenue? I would be curious to see if these seven or eight new residents of the road stick around through a Saturday night, when the restaurants are teaming and the gossip is flowing down the streets. Heck, if I were on the hungry side and lacked a place to stay, I would camp out in Bethesda too. Chances are when you get handed a doggie bag out of the goodness of someones heart, you get to finish off the leftovers of a fine cuisine overpriced meal.

I would be curious to see if there is a flight of the bums over to the Clarendon area as well? They have some nice restaurants, don't they?