When Did Red Become the New Orange?!

I live on the Red Line. I have also ridden the Orange Line. I used to hear the horror stories of those condo-owning "geryuppies" (new term I heard for a younger yuppy) who would pack into the metro like sardines every morning to get into the city for work. Then, like clockwork, they would do it all over again at 5PM to return to their highrise, overpriced real estate in Northern Virginia.

At work you would hear people say, "Man, the Orange Line was bad today. I had to wait for three trains before I could smash into a spot." The worst story I ever heard was last summer, when it was one of those really hot mornings and someone said that a girl got sick from her fear of enclosed spaces. Can you imagine being stuck on a metro, packed in like sardines and having someone lose their breakfast in the midst of it? Not appetizing in the least!

I always thought that the Orange Line was indicative of Northern Virginia's poor planning. The fact that half the state of Virginia drives to Vienna or West Falls Church metro station and parks there to catch the metro means that the cars are filled by the time they get three stops down the line. So, all the Starbucks-sipping, condo-owning geryuppies in Clarendon or Ballston (I will save a separate blog entry for that metro stop town) are left stranded on the platform watching as train after train of bureaucrats flies by them.

This means they are late to work, in a bad mood when they get to work and do nothing but complain all day about the Orange Line. Oh, but they love their high-priced condo living and so that makes it all bearable, somehow. I guess that is why at 5PM they leave their desk and do the exact same ritual, only in reverse. I ask you, is it really worth it? But, then again, what is their other option? Sit on 66 watch the world go by while you sit in traffic? I hope you have a good audiobook on CD, because the morning radio in this town sucks too (Sorry, but I am used to real talk radio - spoiled by Los Angeles I guess)! Or I guess you can SLUG. I am still creeped out by that whole thing - the rules, the rituals, the HOV lanes - it just isn't for me.

Back to what I was saying about RED being the new ORANGE. I guess that Shady Grove is the Vienna of Maryland. With every passing day, it seems that my old-reliable Red Line gets more and more crowded. I understand the occasional surge between stations like Gallery Place and Metro Center, which are true transfer points. I even make an exception for Farragut North, voted the busiest metro station in all of Washington. But, when I get on the red line and head into NW DC I don't expect to have to endure the crowds of commuters that I have been seeing as of late.

I know it is the Maryland commuters who are causing my Red line to be the new Orange line. Marylanders, I have nothing against you. When I see you driving around the Capital City, I don't mind, because your tags remind me that you want to save the bay and all that stuff. But I have to ask, why the sudden change in how you get to work? Is it the gas prices? Are you tired of driving the Clara Barton or the GW Parkway? I must say I am puzzled, because I don't hear nearly as much grumbling about Maryland traffic and commuting problems from the water cooler crowds.

Help me understand why when I leave work later, around 7 or 730, I board the metro and have to stand and stake out my 1X1 piece of real estate by the door. I say to myself, "you can't all be working this late." Then, I hope that the crowds subside as we get to Metro Center - nope, just more people piling on. Then I think, okay, they will get off at Dupont - for dinner and stuff. Nope. No one gets on, but no one gets off either. Then, Woodley, Cleveland, Van Ness, Tenley...nothing. How can this be that there are still this many people on this metro when I get off at the "last stop in the District of Columbia?" I push my way out and sigh out of frustration.

As I exit the metro train I watch as it pulls out of the station. I watch as car after car passes, each one filled with people holding the hand rails trying to read their papers. I say to myself, at least I don't have to endure the Shady Grove parking lot each night. Instead, I happily walk home, shaking off the commuter coodies and trying to breath the fresh air, clearing my memory of that bad breath that stood next to me for 6 stops. I am home within minutes of stepping off that escalator. I remind myself that I hate crowds of commuters. I also stop to be thankful that I can be home with my family long before everyone else in that train gets in their cars to return home after a long painful train ride from the Capital City to the burbs. Oh, the joys of living in Washington. Here is to hoping the gas prices go down and my Red Line goes back to being a pleasant journey under NW DC where I can sit and read my paper on the way to work.